


Ride 'im Cowgirl

by obsidians



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Comedy, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 03:37:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13627797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsidians/pseuds/obsidians
Summary: There is a night to dress as you would as a teenager at Tifa's bar but sometimes something goes when acting the part.





	Ride 'im Cowgirl

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vala411](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vala411/gifts).



It was dress how you did as a teenager night in Seventh Heaven and Tifa got many compliments for wearing her old cowgirl costume she almost fit into. 

“You look good” Yuffie said, wearing her usual attire as she was a teenager still. “I don’t understand why you used to wear that outfit though.”

“I used to watch a lot of Western movies and they inspired me. I learned how to talk like them, lasso and tie up a varmit like them” Tifa said in a weird drawl. 

“Huh?” Yuffie said. 

“I’ve been chawing at the bit to get out of bein’ a barmaid and rustling up mysel’ a hubby. I got my prize stud in sight, I just gotta capture him” she said in that weird accent again with her hands hitched into her belt. 

“Capture him how?” Yuffie asked intrigued.

“With this” Tifa said pulling a length of cord out of nowhere. She quickly did a slip knot and started to slowly throw it into the air until it circled like a halo above her head they all watched in awe as she lasso flew across the room.

Reno was chatting up a potential partner of the night when the lasso went around him and he was yanked in front of its owner like a fish being reeled in.

“What the h….” he cried in outrage until he was gagged with a handkerchief she produced from nowhere. 

“I see this stud need to be broken before I ride him” she commented. “Now watch how quick I tie ‘im up” she said and Reno cried out in protest against his gag as he as trussed up like a turkey as before he could even blink, his arms and legs were secured. 

“Tifa, he’s not yours to grab like that. I’m pretty what you’re doing is illegal” Yuffie said as Reno twitched on the floor where his limbs were bound in rope to the point it was ridiculous. 

“What breeding stud wouldn’t want to be bred with a fine filly like me?” she asked her and Reno just shook his head. “I’m at the time I could breed like a rabbit, even with a rabbit” she bragged while dipping her hat at the bar at large. 

“Tifa, you should untie him” Yuffie said nervously when Tifa put her fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly and Yuffie and the rest of the bar was stunned as a silver chocobo appeared all mounted up. 

“Shucks, That’s my trusted steed, Silver come to take me and my hubby away” Tifa explained. 

“But he’s not your” Yuffie tried again. 

“Relax, I know he ain’t no virgin. The bloom went off that rose a long time ago but he’s still prime stud material and don’t worry ma’am, I’ll take him before a preacher and make an honest man out of him before I mount him” Tifa drawled easily putting the struggling man before the saddle as he lay across the bird and his cries were muffled as he struggled.

The entire bar seemed frozen in shock as with a leap, she mounted her chocobo. “me and the mister should be going” she said, giving the protesting man a slap on his butt. “Pashaw, you’re enjoying this” she chided him and they thundered off. 

“Hi ho, Silver, away” she thundered and the chocobo reared up as much as one can and thundered out of there, bearing Tifa and her reluctant stud away. 

“What just happened here?” Yuffie asked. 

“I can answer that: Tifa’s clearly gone insane” Vincent said dismissively as he continued to nurse his red wine and went back to his book. 

“Don’t you guys want to go rescue Reno?” Yuffie asked Elena and Rude who were sharing a platter of nachos.

“From what? If you force someone into marriage, it isn’t legally binding” Elena said as she helped herself to more guacamole. “And besides, he really pissed me off this week” she added.

“Yeah me too” Rude agreed. “You can’t force a Turk to go anywhere without an army if they’re not willing” he said. 

“You mean?” Yuffie said.

“They’ve been seeing each other on the sly for months but he’s the nervous sort, sometimes you have to resort to the old classics” Rude explained. 

“Hi ho Tifa, away” Yuffie said with a bemused smile on her lips.


End file.
